Queens and Pawns...

I wrote this in my "myspace blog" a couple month's back...

The analogy here is Chess. I'm not really a chess player, but I like the concept. I consider myself a Queen. I've been dealing with I thought was my king for about 6 yrs. I had an epiphany recently, and realized that this Queen was dealing with a silly pawn. Here's the deal. He decided to wander and deal with a pawn (a whore). After all the cussing, all the yelling, all the pain, and all the time wasted, I found myself wondering why would he risk losing me for her. I'm a woman who's got her shit together, knows what she wants, and knows how to get it. I'm a woman who can hold her own, and will stick with you even through the tough times. I'm the one who not only had his back but his front and stands by his side. I'm a Queen, and I thought he was my King. In chess the Queen protects her King, and vice versa. But my mistake was that I was trying to make this PAWN into a KING. A pawn is a pawn, the only thing their good for is to take another pawn. My ex (the pawn) does not have the qualities of a king, but I stuck it out, believing that I can make him one. The lesson I learned is that, as a Queen, I'll know my king when I see him. He will protect me, I will protect him. There will be no need to mold and build him. My ex has taught my a lot. Pawns are good for something, to take over other pawns. The King stands at the side of the Queen. So this queen has realized what a pawn is and what they are for and what they are not for. THOSE PAWNS ARE NOT FOR ME!!!

When I wrote this, I was very angry with my now and forever ex-boyfriend. I'm no longer angry, but I still feel the same. I STILL believe that he's definitely not a king. I'm sure that he can be somebody's king, just not mine. I also realized that in order for me to completely move on with life I must cut him out. He was like a poison to my spirit. And, I'm glad to be rid of that poison.